music blaring joy and delight,
painted horses up and down
forever going round and round.
faded seats hold fewer still
saddles with no riders,
still the music blares delight
but the carousel is silent.
cm
Saturday, August 25, 2007
The Carousel
Friday, August 24, 2007
trust
trust
trust, the elusive diamond.
icy beauty mocking me.
my desire is awakened and
I yearn for its comfort.
it's beauty eludes me.
when outstretched arms are close
its hardness cuts me
and I bleed.
and it slips away
never to be mine,
unwilling to allow its beauty
to touch me.
cm
trust, the elusive diamond.
icy beauty mocking me.
my desire is awakened and
I yearn for its comfort.
it's beauty eludes me.
when outstretched arms are close
its hardness cuts me
and I bleed.
and it slips away
never to be mine,
unwilling to allow its beauty
to touch me.
cm
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
The Big "50"
I want to post to my blog and have much running through my head. This has been a very stressful time as 2 of my daughters begin college this month. That means lots of $$!! Also, I turn the big "50" next month which, surprisingly, has caused me much angst. I just don't feel 50 although I'm not sure what 50 should feel like. I know I have a few aches and pains that don't go away. I have gray hair that sometimes peaks out from my "natural" reddish brown. I tripped over my dog and broke my leg-what's that about? Oh, and hot flashes?
But, in my head I don't feel different. I look into the mirror and sometime see my mother (scary). I look at my body and know it's definitely changing and not really for the better. I see more sagging and more dimples in place where dimples aren't cute. I've put off my Pap because I don't want to step on the scale and confess my weight!
But, I feel wiser. I've learned some valuable lessons from life. Like, I'm trying not to care if everyone doesn't like me. I'm more opinionated and less likely to hold it in and I'll argue with the guy at Staples who wants to charge me for printing a lousy picture. I feel like I've earned some rights in life. I've paid my dues. I appreciate my husband more and really enjoy the time with my kids because I see how fast it goes by. I've learned to stop and really take in the beauty of little things like sunsets, beautiful landscape (like in Montana where we just vacationed), and watching hummingbirds fight over a feeder.
For me, I guess turning 50 is another crossroad. I feel freer. I got my nose pierced and love it (although it hurt like a bugger!). I'm considering another tattoo. I think crossing over into this new phase in life is a bit like starting over and letting the world see ME. This is who I am-take it or leave it!
But, in my head I don't feel different. I look into the mirror and sometime see my mother (scary). I look at my body and know it's definitely changing and not really for the better. I see more sagging and more dimples in place where dimples aren't cute. I've put off my Pap because I don't want to step on the scale and confess my weight!
But, I feel wiser. I've learned some valuable lessons from life. Like, I'm trying not to care if everyone doesn't like me. I'm more opinionated and less likely to hold it in and I'll argue with the guy at Staples who wants to charge me for printing a lousy picture. I feel like I've earned some rights in life. I've paid my dues. I appreciate my husband more and really enjoy the time with my kids because I see how fast it goes by. I've learned to stop and really take in the beauty of little things like sunsets, beautiful landscape (like in Montana where we just vacationed), and watching hummingbirds fight over a feeder.
For me, I guess turning 50 is another crossroad. I feel freer. I got my nose pierced and love it (although it hurt like a bugger!). I'm considering another tattoo. I think crossing over into this new phase in life is a bit like starting over and letting the world see ME. This is who I am-take it or leave it!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
