Did I Do Enough?

Commuting to work on Friday with my husband, we listened to a story on NPR about a 21 year old young women who went on a spiritual journey. She traveled the world in search of spiritual enlightenment.

Our 21 year old daughter is dating a true Georgia "redneck". Yeah. Being from the north, this was our worst nightmare. So far, I have had to kick her butt to get her to decide what she wants to do with her life. She graduated in 2000.

Please understand, this is a wonderful child who we dearly love. She will eventually find her way in life. Yet I worry that we let her down in someway. Then I remember how kind, funny, hard working, and loving she is. And, although I say it quietly, I do like her boyfriend. She's happy.

My husband and I always said we wanted our kids to be happy in life, no matter what they choose to do. Then our oldest daughter, who is married and gave us this incredible grandkid, decided to be a hairdresser. Again, our snobbish upbringing made our shallow side emerge. I truly hate this about myself. She loves what she does, is happy, and has the potential to make a great living. Oh, and the best part - I get my hair cut and colored (shh) for FREE. Why do we assign value to some professions and not others? Where did this start?

Our youngest daughter, who is 19 and graduated last year, lives in her room. She only comes out for meals. (not really, she babysits for her niece 3 days a week, the rest of the time-she's in her room). I'm in the process of nagging her to death so she will complete applications for college. She needs to get out of that damn room.

Again, is it me? Is it my husband? (Probably it was my husband-I know I nagged a lot) I'm not sure if she's happy because we don't see her too often. She doesn't even have her drivers licence yet because we can't get her out of her room. She has a car though. She looks at it through her bedroom window.

But, on the rare occasion we see her, we see this incredibly cool kid. She's our "question authority" kid-in a good way. She is so talented and intelligent and has such potential. If we can get her out of that room, I know she will do something very cool with her life.

We are in the process of adopting a fourth daughter (no, we are not on drugs). We're hoping to get it "right" this time around. Not really. Life is not about what we do, what we wear (a designer purse is OK though-let me know if you want to buy one cheap), where we live, or any of the superficial crap. It's about who we are. It's about being happy. I don't think we did anything wrong. I think we did great.